And So It Goes

So much he’ll never understand
Choice, not life makes it that way
Is what he’s missing really meant to be?

So much she doesn’t understand
Wrong choices along the way
Why does she see what’s not meant to be seen?

Who decides which way they’ll go?
An intervention not yet known
Is there more than one direction?
For such an unaligned connection
And yet they keep on living
A life unknown; and so it goes

So much he thinks he understands
Such a gifted being is he
Yet what eludes him, he doesn’t know he needs

So much she tries to understand
Seeking unwritten prophecy
Looking to find what she only thinks she needs

She’s watching everything he’s done
And he doesn’t hear a word she’s said

An intervention that never came
No direction chosen, and all the same
She made his decision; he made hers in turn
No more aligned, while the connection burns
Straight thru an easy way of living
He walks away, she forgives him

You

Complete strangers in every sense
Seemingly perfect, I wish you knew
You don't see me like I see you
Chances passed, too late

Misread intentions and mistaken actions
Without introduction we walk away
Confused and awkward, I have some questions
Is what we want the same?

Unfair reactions, too late to change
Missed my chances, threw you away
Please, one more, so much to do
Forgotten, too late, gave up so soon

I can't go back
It's meant to be
I'll regret it forever
An unknown eventuality

You've got my appreciation
Or is it fascination
What's my projection?
Maybe uncontrolled infatiation

From me to you
That's how it goes
Am I alone?
Or do you feel it, too?

I see myself because of you
Not what I want or like, you know?
So much could change, it's completely true
I'd be a better me for you

Don't Wanna Love You Anymore

Why do I
Still long for your arms around me
And for you
To say the things you'd never say

Why do I
Still dream of you at night
And wish for
Something that never was

Loving you never did much for me
Loving you didn't get any back
Loving you - a mistake from the start
Loving you - something I just can't stop

Why do I
Miss your touch, poison that it was
And wish to
Right a wrong; one I didn't make

Why do I
Hope to stumble upon you
And for you
To tell me you miss me too

Loving you never gave much to me
Loving you was not my strongest suit
Loving you - a mistake in every way
And so I dont want to continue
Loving you

Perfect Illusion

In this frustration so graciously given
Do you know what you've done to me?
You're unaware of your painful persuasion
That's control; your natural ability

Once upon lifetimes ago
This confusion didn't exist
Chances are before we're through
We'll see all that, thus far we've missed

Is what I envision perfect illusion?
Can't quite tell what's reality
There must a difference in our perception
Out with it now, give the truth to me gently

Once upon moments ago
This heartbreak hadn't hit me yet
Chances are it's over now
At least now I see what we've missed

Like Me

You'd think I'd be used to this by now
Cause falling is easy when you're crazy like me
It's the getting back up that makes me so weak
While the scrapes & the slashes continue to bleed

Is it my blood or yours?
I can't tell the difference
Is it my fault or yours?
I won't make the inference

You'd think I'd be better at this by now
Cause pretending is easy when you're damaged like me
It's the simple truth I don't like to see
So I ignore all the pain while I continue to bleed

Is it my blood or yours?
There's no difference to me
Is it my fault or yours?
That's the truth I can't see

And so
I'll continue to hide
My weakness
You don't see
And still
I'll continue to try
The truth
I don't need
And then
I'll be just fine
This blood
Won't always be

You think I'd be over this by now
Cause trying eventually has to cease
When truth becomes real and weaknesses leave
Until then I'll cover these scars and the wounds

That continue to bleed

More Than This

Tell me
How did I end up here
God knows
I never would have guessed
This life
Could actually be mine
Stuck here
After all of these years

There's got to be something more than this
Seems to me I'm barely living
I pray for there to be more than this
Can't continue simply existing

Tell me
Just how do I get out
God knows
Where I'll go from here
My life
Not mine at all, in fact
Just stuck
Settled for a life of less

Please tell me there's something more than this
Feels like sleep-walking thru each day
Tired of praying for more than this
Can't ignore the need for change

Desire

What I really want
is to spend all day
all weekend
all of my time
alone with you

I want to watch movies
listen to music
(smoke a bowl or two)
and lay around all day long with you

Let's talk about books
and the things we love

In what do you believe?
What are your thoughts on God?

Just speak to me
no matter the words
I think you see
your voice is all I need

Or better yet
let's speak in whispers
(let me feel such a thrill
as your breath on my skin)

And with whispers
come your soft lips
(tasting my skin
let me take you in)